Day4/5

Seven am Sunday morning and I should be sleeping, but again I lay awake thinking of all of those things I have to do. I missed writing yesterday, so much for that 365 day commitment thing. And so it goes, another lesson ringing in my ears in the form of two of those sentences dad would say so many times that I just didn't get until my grown up days; "don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today" and "if you fall off the horse, get back on and ride again." Obviously I haven't yet mastered the former, but Ive got the latter down pretty good since I have fallen off of that horse so very many times. It's that don't put off until tomorrow one that has continually given me a little trouble throughtout my life.


My daughter is at Cedar Point this weekend with a friend and their family. I get a text message from her mid day telling me she's so excited about this parasailing adventure she's about to experience. I wasn't quite certain how I felt about that, I mean the thought of my daughter tethered to a 1000 foot rope being pulled by a speed boat was a little unnerving, but at the same time I was thrilled to hear that she would have the opportunity to do something that I had always wanted to do but just didn't have the nerve. It just seems like there are so many things on my bucket list that haven't been checked off yet. I'm not sure if everyone has such a list, but just in case anyone's interested mine includes visiting Italy, sitting front row at a Bon Jovi concert, being at a red carpet event, taking a 2 week cruise, and parasailing. When she texted me at the conclusion of her excursion, I was so very excited to hear from her and she told me it was an extraordinarily beautiful experience and that she of course wanted to do it again. I imagined the feeling she had was unmatchable as she looked down over the lake and was able to see the world below her, wind in her hair, and that beautiful smile of hers plastered across her face as she flew through the air. At the same time in true mom form, I was so very relieved that she made it thru the trip safe and sound. It's quite representative of where she and I are at in our lives right now. Katy with so much to look forward to, the world at her feet, wind in her hair as she experiences it and myself looking on praying that she made it thru whatever it is that she's doing safe and sound with nothing but good stories to tell.

I started composing this at 7am and got a little distracted with a nap, and a customer and some Father's Day activities. Speaking of Father's Day, I hope all my friends and family have enjoyed their day with their familes, (or without them, whichever makes them happy)....I just called mine to wish him a happy. See, for those of you who are unaware, my father is an over the road semi truck driver and during the week he's on the road and then comes home usually on the weekends. When I called him today, he did not disappoint with yet another life lesson. I wonder sometimes if he is like a well...one day is he just gonna dry up and not have any more lessons to offer up? Naw, .... what am I saying...my dad will always have something to offer up.

Anyway, today's lesson came in the form of annoyance. See he answered the telephone when I called with a loud "hello?" I told him Happy Father's Day and he gave me a boisterous "thank you" and then proceeded to tell me he was in Wisconsin listening to the "Idiots" (his words not mine) on the cb radio. He said, "I just don't understand, I listen to these guys complain and gripe that they don't make enough money driving a truck. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and I asked them if they didn't want to make a small wage, then why the hell did they quit the fourth grade?" I chuckled a little bit and he said, "Everybody in this country has the same opportunity. You make your life what you want it to be. If you want to be a doctor, drive a nice car and have nice things then pick up a book. If you're happy digging a ditch then more power to you, who am I to judge? But don't complain about the ramifications of the decisions that only you have made." And with that he said he loved me and he hoped I had a good night. The whole conversation lasted two minutes and forty seconds but wow, can that man pack a lot to think about in less than five minutes.

To all the fathers out there that have told their daughters to "get back on the horse", "don't put off until tomorrow", "make your life what you want it to be", "do what makes you happy", "take responsibility for your decisions", and "I love you".....I hope that you've had a great and very Happy Father's Day!!!

Day 3

I'm sitting in front of this blank page wondering if I have all that much to say...I have to admit I was excited to see that at least two people that I know of have taken a minute to skim through my thoughts. And honestly, some small narcasstic part of me puffed up like a peacock. I always though I might be able to write a book, so at least now I know I might sell two copies.

In any case, the point of writing all of this down is to find some small morsel of wisdom that I know has to be in here somewhere so that I might pass it on to my kids of whom I'm not even certain if they will read. Last night I was trying to have a heart to heart with the baby. Of course "baby" is relative she is the youngest, but she is afterall on the verge of womanhood at 17. In fact she has grown into a lovely young and I have to say unique individual. Not unique in a weird way, I mean she doesn't sit in the corner sucking her thumb or bang her head on the wall, nothing like that. But unique in the sense that I don't think I've ever actually met anyone quite like her. She is an odd combination of teen angst and mature adult and has been for many years. She's experienced more than her share of loss in her short life making her much more mistrusting than I would have ever hoped for her. I think the term "wise beyond her years" is probably appropriate, and sometimes I look at her and think, "How in the world did she grow to be so amazing with this hot mess of a mom she's got?" I'm so very proud of her...my little cheerleader/sailor!

Anyway, I'm having this conversation with her trying to give her a little unsolicited advice, much like the advice I was writing about yesterday that my parents used to try and give me. And I didn't actually realize this until last night at ten pm, but unlike myself who knows nada, she on the other hand knows everything! I mean all I had to do was ask her and she was more than willing to tell me (via eye rolling and big loud sighs) that I really have no idea about life or what it's like to be a teenager or well...pretty much anything. I left the conversation feeling frustrated and wondering if I actually got my point across or did she just give in to my Chinese water tourture tactics and nod her head yes to get rid of me. I decided it was time to exit her room when she looked at me with pity in her big brown beautiful eyes as if to say, "you poor woman...I love you and I know that you are trying, but you truely are an idiot"

After the convo I went back to my room just a little frustrated about the fact that I don't know if I got my point across before she shut me down. Then it hit me, I actually started doubting myself. Is it possible that I am actually out of touch with "kids today"? Have I really forgotten what it's like to be a teen? I mean certainly it was just yesterday that I was blaring Bon Jovi on the cassette player in my '77 Gremlin sneaking cigarettes praying that my dad would never miss the one I stole from his pack. It was only a week ago that I was begging my mom to let me go to the party that everyone who was anyone was going to be at, wasn't it? I think last month I was grounded for missing curfew when I fell asleep at my boyfriend's house on Friday night after a long night of cheering the high school football game. I got up to brush my teeth thinking about what went wrong and how I might have presented to my beautiful baby girl this little bit of advice in a different way that she might listen....and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. In that instant I realized that it wasn't yesterday or last week or last month. I am actually all grown up and probably am a little out of touch of what it's like to be a teen today. Staring back at me was not my mom, my dad, not my husband or father but in that reflection I saw experience, resilience, strength, and pride. Most importantly, I can and I have filled up a blank page on more than one occasion and I do have a lot to say. Now if I can just figure out how to get those damn kids to listen!!!

Day 2

What a crazy morning it has been already. First and foremost I'm staring at a big pile of papers sitting on my desk that absolutely have to be sorted and filed. Last night as I lay in bed my to do list kept playing over and over in my mind like a movie reel. If only I would have just stood up and started on the list I'm certain that that I would have at least been able to fall asleep for an hour or so instead of laying there fretting about all of those "to dos" that need to be done....Dad always said, "why put off tomorrow what you can do today"....which got me to thinking...how many times have I thought to myself, "if only I would have "? My epiphany this morning was eerily similar to the second I stood staring at myself in the mirror at the ripe old age of 25 realizing that maybe, just maybe my parents weren't really all that ignorant. Maybe they actually did know what they were talking about when they offered up all of that unsolicited infinite wisdom. Maybe I should have listened a little more closely to at least half of what mom and dad told me.

My father has a gift for putting things into perspective with a random, strange sentences that would make most wonder if he's once again had one too many beers, or does the old man really know what he's talking about? Most of the time as a child I didn't even understand what he meant with his one-liner pieces of wisdom. And on a very rare occasion...he would offer up that wisdom not in just one sentence, but a conglomerate of them. Back then it was just too much for a little girl to grasp.

For example, one very hot summer day as a little girl I was playing next door barefoot in the neighbor's garage. I couldn't have been more than 8 years old. Now, I can promise that I had been in trouble more times than not for this infamous shoeless infraction. Even when I did take that extra second to throw on a pair of rubber flip flops, they came off of my feet the second I was out of my parents sight never to be seen again and of course I would forget where I took them off. As to be expected, I stepped on a board with a nail sticking out of the top and right into my heel it went. I ran home tears flowing, screaming for my Daddy to help me. My father calmly picked me up under the arms and set me on top of the kitchen counter and pulled out the board with one quick painful yank. My mother rushed into the kitchen and lovingly cleaned and dressed my wound while scolding me about my bare feet. I'll never forget this...my father looked at me and said matter of factly, "Kathie stop your crying. Your crying isn't going to fix anything....Daddy got the nail out and that's all I can do to help you. It's your own fault for not wearing shoes. Next time maybe you'll listen. Besides...don't worry, it'll feel better when it quits hurtin'." And so there it is...some of the best life lessons in six sentences to an 8 year old hysterical child that a father could pass on to his daughter. Life lessons that only now as a grown mother to four that I can truely appreciate:
1. Crying isn't going to fix anything. - tears have definately welled up in my eyes more than once throughout my lifetime. And wouldn't you know it, not one time did anything get solved or fixed or was anything constructive accomplished by those damn tears.
2. Daddy got the nail out and that's all I can do to help you - I can not count on all of my fingers and toes the number of times that Daddy got the nail out.....that day...the day my brother died...the day my first husband left...the day my second husband left, LOL...the day I was attacked...but once the nail was out...he never promised to fix it completely...he always did what he could and then expected me to do the rest.
3. It's your own fault for not wearing shoes....WOW...what a lesson to teach a child. I wish more parents would teach this lesson...accountability...responsibility for my actions. For me this was the hardest lesson to teach my kids. I always seemed to want to not believe that my kids weren't perfect. And last but definately not least...
4. It'll feel better when it quits hurtin'. A lesson about pain. Physical pain, emotional pain an unavoidable part of life...and a necessity-for without pain, we don't know pleasure so knowing how to handle it, how to navigate thru it is an art. I only realized once I had my own children how difficult it is to watch your child suffer....and how badly a mother (or father) just wants to take it away yet how impossible that is.

To my mother and father....thank you so much for all of your lessons in life...I think I finally get it...and here it is...what you've been waiting for...42 years in the making....You were right..crying doesn't fix anything, most of it has been my own fault, it actually does feel better when it quits hurtin, thank you both for getting the nails out and from now on...I'll always wear a good pair of shoes!

365 Day Commitment

It's the craziest thing....this fast paced world of information we live in; everything seems to go by so quickly. I find myself more often than not feeling like I get just a little bit overwhelmed with so much information constantly slamming into my head. Between facebook and twitter and CNBC and TMZ and HLN and...there's just so much to take in all of the time, so much to keep up with. I'm only 42, but like my grandma...I can't help but long for "the good ol' days" when life seemed to be so much simpler. It's funny almost to think of the '70's and '80's as the "good 'ol days"....When I was a kid, growing up in sunny South Florida, I lived in the house on the middle of the block, the "All American Family" if you will. There were not cell phones or internet...didn't even have cable tv until I was in middle school or something crazy like that. As a kid, we played outside, swam in the pool, had a bbq every weekend with the 'rents and the neighbors...I would say had a pretty great childhood actually, nothing extravagant, nothing really. But we were in our own little world...just our little bubble, my parents and my little brother and close friends and family. And here I find myself almost lost in a tornado of events that has become my life, this tornado at times as defined my life even. Yes, it's been a rocky road at times with a list of experiences that I think only a soap opera could do justice to and somehow along the way I've grown into a middle aged woman who is on the verge of empty nest syndrome that feels lost in the age of information. And although it's been rocky at times, my life has been filled with love and laughter and for that I am blessed. The cast of characters in my life are plenty and colorful. What a shame it would be to not share what I've learned through it all...offer what I can bring to the table, should anyone want to partake. My thought is to write it all down..even if it is just for my children to know that I'm more than just their mom, or at least I think that I am. I guess I'd like to take this opportunity to stop, refocus...reflect....and just exhale. I just wish sometimes that the world would take a minute...just a second...to stop and refocus too. And as I wish for the impossible, one of the many lessons in life that I've learned from my mom is ringing in my ear...."If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." So here's my 365 day commitment: I am going to use this blog every single day for one year to pen my thoughts as I travel thru this last year my youngest child is home with me. Hopefully in 365 posts, at least one will contain something insightful for her to take with her on her graduation day next June....hopefully.

Color Consultation 101

The most difficult part of the decorating process for almost anyone seems to be choosing a color palette. Quite understandable. After all, color sets the mood of the room. Color can add square footage to a small room, or give a homey feeling to a large spacious area. Science tells us that color evokes emotion and can in fact stimulate us in ways such as creative thinking and problem solving, making the perfect choice all the more difficult. Here are a few ways to narrow down the color choices from a million to a few:

Open your closet and examine the dominant colors of your wardrobe
Visit the paint department at your local hardware store
Look at the colors in a favorite family heirloom
Bring a favorite area rug into the natural light and choose the first and last colors you notice


Once you have identified a favorite color, think about the feeling you would like your room to evoke in it's inhabitants. Bringing in neutrals such as khaki's and milk whites with any color will work beautifully together, and allow a decorator to change their mind with minimal cost and effort. Mix light and dark colors for a dramatic effect, such as chocolate browns and pale pinks bringing a romantic feeling to a master bedroom.

Whichever color or colors you choose, take advantage of the many resources that are available to you. Sherwin Williams allows visitors to their website to upload photographs of the rooms to be transformed into a program allowing the user to virtually paint and preview the results. Many painting companies, such as Sure Color Painting offers free or low cost color consultation to help alleviate the overwhelming task of picking the perfect color. Above all else, have fun. The great thing about paint is that a new color is only a stroke away!

Buyer Beware of "Green" Paint!!!

Walking through the paint department at my local hardware store, everywhere I looked was the color green, and I'm not talking sage or mint! It's the latest marketing campaign painting manufacturers have initiated in an attempt to increase their market share and build a new customer base, gain trust and loyalty, and ultimately to put your dollar in their can. As I strolled through the sea of signage that screamed,"100% non toxic safer paint products", my father's voice kept playing like a stuck record in my ears. He would say, "if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is." And just like that I was on a quest to find some answers. What I discovered wouldn't suprise dear old dad. It seems that "green" paint is measured by the VOC levels in the chemical makeup of the paint. As my research moved forward, I learned according to the EPA, VOC's or Volitile Organic Compounds have been found to cause the breakdown of our ozone layer and contribute to respiratory illness and loss of memory. Initially, this discovery made lowering customer exposure to VOC's without comprimising the quality craftsmanship Sure Color Painting guarantees a top priority of my company. As I set out on a quest to find the perfect green paint, I made an alarming discovery. VOC's are measured only in the base paint and are not measured in the tint. As a matter of fact, because of the formularies of different colors, there is no accurate way to measure VOC levels in any mixed paint. Further, according to a recent Consumer Reports test, the highest rated paints also contained the highest levels of VOC's as could best be measured by Consumer Reports. After my weeks of research, I once again have come to the conclusion that father knows best. For more information regarding VOC levels and paint performance, pick up the most recent Consumer Reports issue.

Spring Color Trends

Decorating trends are forever changing and as we move into the new decade, no exception will be made this year. Many new builds are bringing the morning kitchen to the table with an architectural focus on the family. This naturally lends itself to the introduction of rich golds, ochre, tans and browns into the family areas of the trendiest homes. For bedrooms and bathrooms the most soothing pale hues are making their way to walls such as light blues, lavenders and pale pinks with deep tones on the ceilings such as indigo and eggplant. Past trends fading fast are toned down colors while the hottest trend that can not be ignored is bright bold greens that have been replacing muted greens such as sage. These bright greens are coupled with sunny warm yellows and lagoon aquas, bringing a vacation feeling to every day living. Finally, with many homeowners still looking for the quick resale, this year continues to bring a pallette at bright whites, khaki, milk white, charcoal, and black delivering a crisp clean look that could work with almost any decorating genre.